So yesterday I started talking about how to get an Umpire to give you an edge, and I went off on a tangent and ran out of time before getting to my point. Let me start by warning you that I’m not going to tell you in today’s column either. Instead, I’m going to start by showing you how to get an Umpire to NOT give you any breaks. It’s simple really. All you have to do is act like a jackass all game. As I said in yesterday’s column, Umpires don’t cheat, but they can look closer for things which they may otherwise ignore. Here’s an example I had witnessed first hand as assistant Coach.
In the 1st inning, as soon as our team got a guy on base, our Coach at 3rd base started yelling at the Umpire that the pitcher wasn't coming to a full stop before delivering his pitches. At the end of the inning, the Umpire explained to him, that it was a judgement call if the pitcher came to a "discernible" stop or not, and in his opinion he did. Our Coach made some insulting remarks to the Ump and went back to the dugout. Uneventful bottom of the inning. In the 2nd inning it started again "C'mon ump.. he's not coming to a stop", "No way that's a stop", "Can't you see he's quick pitching"... etc. At the end of the inning, he went to the Ump and asked him to keep a closer eye on it. The Umpire promised him he would. As soon as the other team got a runner on base, guess what happened? "THAT'S A BALK!". Coach went running to the Ump and asked him to explain what our pitcher did. "He didn't come to a full stop. You asked me to watch more closely and I did". My Coach got the message and stopped complaining.